9. Notes - twixxed

       Mid-morning. You are facing south in the parking lot of Ohio Health Medical Building on Rt. 23 across from the entrance to Boy Scout Camp Lazarus a few miles south of Delaware city limits. Carol has her first appointment with Kim's doctor at the same facility where your Dr. Scott R. works. 

       1019 hours. The rain has begun and it is to continue through tomorrow. Poor kids have their Halloween Trick or Treat dampened a bit. 

       You wonder where your own personal sense of Halloween as gone. Let's find a suitable poem. -- You found two from your and Bob Pringle's publishable collection, "Take Two". - Amorella

       1033 hours. These three are suitable. Bob and I wanted to publish "Take Two" but never did. Upon re-reading the below I realize that part of me has either been put away (out of consciousness) in my head. I am no longer in 'Faeryland'. Isn't this odd? All those years of writing, the Notes in the "Encounters In Mind" blog were in 'Faeryland'. Read them from the beginning or anywhere to the end and the reader can see this today is not the me who was. 

** **

Introduction to "Beltane's Eve"

         My oldest known genetic ancestors, the ancient Celts lived in present day France and Great Britain. They worshipped a sun god named Lugus or Lug. He was called “the inventor of all arts”. Because the Celtic day began at sundown, one of two particular holy days set aside was May Day Eve, which was then called Beltane’s Eve. Beltane’s Eve began as a sacred night in the same way Samhain Eve did, the other night set apart for Lugus, the Fairies, and the Dead. Today, of course, we celebrate the Samhain as Halloween.

         This poem is dedicated to two ancient souls who know how to use Fire and Water; their names are Meleda and Celidon.

BELTANE'S EVE

                            Winging spritely across leafy felled forest

                            Feather bright birds sing along in a chorus,

                            Dead trees' gray fingers will leaf out quite soon

                            Under misty full light of magic May Moon.

                            Beware Earthly air, whirling winds deceive,

                            Beware the claw-ripped Souls of Beltane's Eve.

                            Tonight come the birds dressed wild and black

                            So keep close your Soul, they'll be wanting to hack

                            And fly it to Mounds where years seem a day

                            Across the far green where Fairy lands lay.

                            Be strong like the Oak near Celtic crossed stone

                            Think deep in Druid’s sleep so Spirits can roam;

                            Bring Souls together, yet remain afar,

                            Make fiery bright op’ning of the Oracle’s jar. 

                            Beware Earthly air, whirling winds deceive,

                            Beware the claw-ripped Souls of Beltane's Eve. 

                            On aid-Spring night where great stones lay rounded

                            In Fairy light from damp bark re-bounded.

                            Ghostly priestess and priest on Celtic cross stand

                            Midst Fire and Water in Sky and on Land.

***

INTERNAL FIRE

                            In the betweens of sleep I am lying in

                                     I see flame shooting from my fingertips,

                                     wonderfully green spiritual fires,

                                                        Fire, Water, Earth and Air

                                                        Swarms of Fairies everywhere.

                            A vision walks me to Mid-Summer's Moon

                            I await to be carried out of this place

                            on the pale, crescent, sky boat of the Dead.

                            0 high Priestess of the night, your light is as a pale vine

                                     settling on my stone hard mind.

                            You touch and draw things out --

                                     like Love’s memories soaring;

                                     a rainbow of balloons colors of the Soul

                                               imploding in quiet ecstasy.

                            Sweet moisture in a Moon drop.

                            0 high Priestess of the night, with deep smile and hearty laugh,

                                     I feel no different, yet I am made so.

                            You, who have knowledge of the True Arts,

                            You, who say the Elements are tricky --

                                     Your warm and gently stroking fingertips

                                     Allow you to shape the size of Unicorns.

                                                        Fire, Water, Earth and Air

                                                        Swarms of Fairies everywhere.

                            Sometimes, when I walk the night, I lay my stretched mind

                                     in your wispy white caverns of mysterious delight

                            Priestess, shining full and bright

                                     In the dead and dark of night

                                               By magic fingertips of healing

                                                        You pull secrets, at once revealing.

                            In the betweens of sleep my dreamy hands bend to crystal see

                                     the counter-clock-wise round, my agony --

                                               in clock-wise spins the eternal whirlwind,

                                                        in a Fairyland of timeless memory.

***

DRUID'S LAMENT

                                     There’s a paced march of an army of ants

                                      And wrens a-fluttering in a kind of dance,

                                     Thick dark leaves turned over real light

                                     And thick meadow clover bent just right.

                                     It's about time for sowing winter's wheat

                                     The West wind’s a-blowing across my feet,

                                     The mighty yellow Sun is moving on South

                                     Big Moon’s rising near small stream's mouth.

                                     When water begins to churning white and high

                                     Come rains, come rains, come rains try;

                                     Cool me down, make me thick and muddy

                                     Make my heart beat fast, my cheeks quite ruddy.

                                     The shrilling sounds of troops of crickets

                                     Swirling in my mind like rabbits in a thicket;

                                     Small thicket made magic with lots of things to do

                                     Before Fall sets in and the Harvest is through. 

                                     North-west breeze sniffing at my door

                                     This hot summer’s blast will be nevermore;

                                     Bright Harvest Moon, soon will be rising

                                     Cool bright, like love gone philosophizing.

                                     I’m walking on with my friends and clutter

                                     Chirping my thoughts with a bit of a flutter;

                                     Dancing and churning and swirling about

                                     Like a wren in a thicket in a late summer’s drought.

** **

       The above strike a cord and you can better see this your Halloween within. Post when applicable. - Amorella

8. Notes - giving up?

       Mid-afternoon. You are facing east by northeast at Shale Hollow Park off National Highway, Route 23 in Lewis Center, sitting in the car waiting for Carol to finish her walk. - Amorella

       You and Carol were watching the Rachel Maddow Show and turned it off about ten minutes into Laurence O’Donnell. - Amorella

       2210 hours. I am tired of listening to the news. I am tired of the propaganda. 

       Why do you not doubt that these political/religious/social scenarios will continue while you do doubt the basic scenarios in your heartansoulanmind? - Amorella

       2216 hours. I see a construct of how the world is via world history and human behavior present. I try to invent a construct of heartansoulanmind in order to better understand what our species is in terms of positive potential but I see us basically still ruled by our fears. If we do not adjust to our fears we are less likely to survive both personally and collectively. Trump is good at manipulating human social fears and focused hates to his advantage. He is good at manipulating the media marketplace, creating a smokescreen, a plausible 1984 setting. Question everything until you just give it up to indifference. 

       Isn't this what you are doing to yourself, giving up by doubting on who and what you are, on your personal humanity? Post. - Amorella

7. Notes - to remain free

27 October 2018

       Noon, local time. The day is dull gray and rainy, typical Fall. You are sitting in your black lounger looking northwest out of the bedroom window. You observe eleven fifteen foot tall pine trees irregularly placed atop a mound of grassy earth about fifteen feet tall with a girth of twenty feet or so. This was constructed to block some of the sound from the wheels and engines traveling Interstate 71 between Columbus and Cleveland proper. Beyond this wall is the natural earth of once pasture and a line of trees beyond, about an eighth of a mile. A drop down from the trees fifteen feet lay or lay so six lanes of thickly poured cement built for power and speed. - Amorella

       1216 hours. It is certainly is noisy at times but we can see plenty of sky, though cloudy today. Time to get ready for Aunt Ruthie's party. 

       Bedtime after a busy afternoon at the party and having sister Gretchen and brother in law Jerry stopped by on their way back to Cleveland after Aunt Ruthie's party. Tomorrow at noon Marilyn, Tony, their children and grandchildren return home to southern California. - Amorella

       2230 hours. Carol is only about half way through Harlan Coben's Home, but she is working on it. Nothing is coming to mind for continuing, so I am to bed in the chair while Carol reads. 

       Tomorrow, dude. - Amorella

28 October 2018

       Sunday night. You and Carol had a very relaxing Sunday mostly watching Amazon Prime and Netflix thrillers and mysteries. Friday the focus was on what observed and subjective reality really is in a human being.

       2113 hours. In the broadest sense this is a problem for me because we all have interpretations of what we observe through our five senses and our intuition as well as what is buried in our upbringing and memories for reference to any particular event in our personal and public lives. Sometimes it comes down to a 'gut' feeling in the moment that opens and/or closes specifics interpretations of a solitary' moment' once lived and 'remembered' as if the moment were once real, even if factually wasn't. How does one's spiritual self, one's heartansoulanmind deal with such circumstances? Let's assume at least hypothetically that it is possible that our spirit is real and actually does survive physical death. . . .

       If it were I, one of the first things I would do, knowing what I know now, is to attempt to separate fact from fiction. I would first want to know what was real in my life that I reacted to and what was fiction in my life that I reacted to. If hypothetically all I had in my ghostly or spiritual database was heartansoulanmind where does the spiritual memory reside, in the heart? or in the mind?

       What if the soul sorts the 'spiritual-memory' from heartanmind, as it were? - Amorella

       2131 hours. I had not thought that. In context it might appear plausible. The soul acts as a unconscious-consciousness so that heartanmind can  privately realize what was real and what was not. The human spirit could then use the soul as a go-between center for better understanding how one's spiritual self could interpret what one's life had actually lived holistically. 

       If so, then one's life would no longer be existential because the soul could influence what had been real in a human life..  - Amorella

** **

existentialism | noun  - a philosophical theory or approach which emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will. Generally taken to originate with Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, existentialism tends to be atheistic (although there is a strand of Christian existentialism deriving from the work of Kierkegaard), to disparage scientific knowledge, and to deny the existence of objective values, stressing instead the reality and significance of human freedom and experience. The approach was developed chiefly in 20th-century Europe, notably by Martin Heidegger, Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, and Simone de Beauvoir.

Selected and edited from British/American software

** **

       2145 hours. Doubt would exist in such a scenario if one was still free willed, i.e. would still have my doubts because I could not trust my heartansoulanmind to make a decision for me. I would still wonder if I had enough data to decide what my life had been. 

       That is your dilemma now and you are still alive. - Amorella

       2150 hours. I am ready to call it a night. I demand to remain free as a spirit. This is who I am. I am an existentialist. I have free will without it I will no longer be a human spirit. (2159)

       Post. - Amorella

6. Notes - Wabi-sabi / agnostic

       You read the following article in BBC Travel, "Japan's Unusual Way to View the World" by Lily Crossley-Baxter, 22 October 2018 on the element of Wabi-sabi and feel it has a useful perspective. Here is what Wikipedia has to say on the subject. - Amorella

** **

Wabi-sabi

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Zen garden of Ryōan-ji. It was built during the Higashiyama period. The clay wall, which is stained by age with subtle brown and orange tones, reflects sabi, and the rock garden wabi.

A Japanese tea house which reflects the wabi-sabi aesthetic in Kenroku-en(兼六園) Garden

Wabi-sabi tea bowl, Azuchi-Momoyama period, 16th century

In traditional Japanese aesthetics, wabi-sabi (侘寂) is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection.^[2] The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete".^[3] It is a concept derived from the Buddhist teaching of the three marks of existence (三法印 sanbōin), specifically impermanence (無常 mujō), suffering (苦 ku) and emptiness or absence of self-nature(空 kū).

Characteristics of the wabi-sabi aesthetic include asymmetry, roughness, simplicity, economy, austerity, modesty, intimacy, and appreciation of the ingenuous integrity of natural objects and processes.

According to Leonard Koren, wabi-sabi can be defined as "the most conspicuous and characteristic feature of traditional Japanese beauty and it occupies roughly the same position in the Japanese pantheon of aesthetic values as do the Greek ideals of beautyand perfection in the far West."^[3] Whereas Andrew Juniper notes that "If an object or expression can bring about, within us, a sense of serene melancholy and a spiritual longing, then that object could be said to be wabi-sabi."^[4] For Richard "Wabi-sabi nurtures all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities: nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect." 

The words wabi and sabi do not translate easily. Wabi originally referred to the loneliness of living in nature, remote from society; sabi meant "chill", "lean" or "withered". Around the 14th century these meanings began to change, taking on more positive connotations.  Wabi now connotes rustic simplicity, freshness or quietness, and can be applied to both natural and human-made objects, or understated elegance. It can also refer to quirks and anomalies arising from the process of construction, which add uniqueness and elegance to the object. Sabi is beauty or serenity that comes with age, when the life of the object and its impermanence are evidenced in its patina and wear, or in any visible repairs.

After centuries of incorporating artistic and Buddhist influences from China, wabi-sabi eventually evolved into a distinctly Japanese ideal. Over time, the meanings of wabi and sabi shifted to become more lighthearted and hopeful. Around 700 years ago, particularly among the Japanese nobility, understanding emptiness and imperfection was honored as tantamount to the first step to satori, or enlightenment. In today's Japan, the meaning of wabi-sabi is often condensed to "wisdom in natural simplicity". In art books, it is typically defined as "flawed beauty".

From an engineering or design point of view, wabi may be interpreted as the imperfect quality of any object, due to inevitable limitations in design and construction/manufacture especially with respect to unpredictable or changing usage conditions; then sabi could be interpreted as the aspect of imperfect reliability, or limited mortality of any object, hence the phonological and etymological connection with the Japanese word sabi, to rust (錆, also pronounced sabi). Although the kanji characters for "rust" is not the same sabi (寂) in wabi-sabi, the original spoken word (pre-kanji, yamato-kotoba) is believed to be one and the same. 

Modern tea vessel made in the wabi-sabi style

A good example of this embodiment may be seen in certain styles of Japanese pottery. In the Japanese tea ceremony, the pottery items used are often rustic and simple-looking, e.g. Hagi ware, with shapes that are not quite symmetrical, and colors or textures that appear to emphasize an unrefined or simple style. In fact, it is up to the knowledge and observational ability of the participant to notice and discern the hidden signs of a truly excellent design or glaze (akin to the appearance of a diamond in the rough). This may be interpreted as a kind of wabi-sabi aesthetic, further confirmed by the way the colour of glazed items is known to change over time as hot water is repeatedly poured into them (sabi) and the fact that tea bowls are often deliberately chipped or nicked at the bottom (wabi), which serves as a kind of signature of the Hagi-yaki style.

Wabi and sabi both suggest sentiments of desolation and solitude. In the Mahayana Buddhist view of the universe, these may be viewed as positive characteristics, representing liberation from a material world and transcendence to a simpler life. Mahayana philosophy itself, however, warns that genuine understanding cannot be achieved through words or language, so accepting wabi-sabi on nonverbal terms may be the most appropriate approach. Simon Brown notes that wabi-sabi describes a means whereby students can learn to live life through the senses and better engage in life as it happens, rather than be caught up in unnecessary thoughts. In this sense wabi-sabi is the material representation of Zen Buddhism. The idea is that being surrounded by natural, changing, unique objects helps us connect to our real world and escape potentially stressful distractions.

In one sense wabi-sabi is a training whereby the student of wabi-sabi learns to find the most basic, natural objects interesting, fascinating and beautiful. Fading autumn leaves would be an example. Wabi-sabi can change our perception of the world to the extent that a chip or crack in a vase makes it more interesting and gives the object greater meditative value. Similarly materials that age such as bare wood, paper and fabric become more interesting as they exhibit changes that can be observed over time.

The wabi and sabi concepts are religious in origin, but actual usage of the words in Japanese is often quite casual because of the syncretic nature of Japanese belief.

Selected and edited from Wikipedia

** **

       Earlier, Aunt Ruthie, Tony, Marilyn and her Tony and Cathy stopped by and stayed and chatted about two hours; with this you were both pleasantly surprised. Staying was Aunt Ruthie's idea and it was quite enjoyable with nary a silence among the variety of conversations. You sat and talked. Afterwards, you ran errands and shortly you will leave to pick up Cathy and Tod to meet everyone for supper at a Rusty Bucket on High Street in Clintonville. - Amorella

       1708 hours. The article above, from my perspective, can be summarized in Richard Powell's words: "Wabi-sabi nurtures all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities: nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect."

       All for now, boy. - Amorella

       Later. You are home and watched NBC News on the DVR. Carol is watching Lawrence on MSNBC. I disagree with you about what is important in connection with this blog in the above Wikipedia article. These are aspects I am including. - Amorella

** **

1. Wabi now connotes rustic simplicity, freshness or quietness, and can be applied to both natural and human-made objects, or understated elegance. It can also refer to quirks and anomalies arising from the process of construction, which add uniqueness and elegance to the object. Sabi is beauty or serenity that comes with age, when the life of the object and its impermanence are evidenced in its patina and wear, or in any visible repairs.

2. Wabi and sabi both suggest sentiments of desolation and solitude. In the Mahayana Buddhist view of the universe, these may be viewed as positive characteristics, representing liberation from a material world and transcendence to a simpler life.

3. The wabi and sabi concepts are religious in origin, but actual usage of the words in Japanese is often quite casual because of the syncretic nature of Japanese belief.

** **

       The reason I include these three is because they each focus on what Wabi-Sabi is, 'an amalgamation of different religions, cultures or schools of thought.' (Oxford/American: syncretism). - Amorella

       2231 hours. Do you mean that "heartansoulanmind" is as an amalgamation of the human spirit?

       Yes, which includes the "heartansoulanmind" shows desolation, solitude and transcendence that is spiritual in origin first and religious in origin second. - Amorella

       2235 hours. I agree that "spiritual" is a concept older than "religious "in concept. How do I know you are not just manipulating me since you know I would agree with you on this?

       A reminder to you here, I, the Amorella, in this blog as well as the other, do not consider myself human because although I have a conscious of 'being', I do not and never have had a material form. - Amorella

       2243 hours. On this 'belief of yours' I am an agonistic. You cannot prove this assumption of yours to me, and after all these years together (in thought and words) I cannot prove you are not 'real'. I cannot 'just believe' you are real. I do not know you are nothing more than my imagination put to work as a secondary persona. If suddenly I were to be given enough proof in my heartansoulanmind that I can accept you as a 'reality' I would do so. 

       This is mote because you already have. You know this. I know this. - Amorella

       2252 hours. I am an agnostic. 

       That is an honest response. Post. - Amorella

5. Notes - character study addition

       Thursday afternoon. Surprise. Marilyn, Tony and all her children and grandchildren arrived this morning on the red eye for Aunt Ruthie's 90 Birthday party Saturday. You and Carol are quite happy for her. Kim is here helping Carol set up online billing on a couple accounts. This is new to both of you in that you have never set up such accounts before. - Amorella

       1420 hours. Yesterday you said, "you have free will. You are entitled to use it even if it is not a necessity." I would have phrased that: "you have free will. You are entitled to use it even when it is not a necessity."

       Go on. - Amorella

       1425 hours. The two conjunctions have a different sense of definition in context. 

** **

When- conjunction 1 at or during the time that: I loved math when I was in school. • after: call me when you're finished. • at any time that; whenever: can you spare five minutes when it's convenient? 2 after which; and just then (implying suddenness): he had just drifted off to sleep when the phone rang. 3 in view of the fact that; considering that: why bother to paint it when you can photograph it with the same effect? 4 although; whereas: I'm saying it now when I should have told you long ago.

If -conjunction 1 (introducing a conditional clause) on the condition or supposition that; in the event that: if you have a complaint, write to the director | if you like I'll put in a word for you. • (with past tense) introducing a hypothetical situation: if you had stayed, this would never have happened. • whenever; every time: if I go out she gets nasty. 2 despite the possibility that; no matter whether: if it takes me seven years, I shall do it. 3 (often used in indirect questions) whether: he asked if we would like some coffee | see if you can track it down. 4 [with modal] expressing a polite request: if you wouldn't mind giving him a message? | if I could trouble you for your names? 5 expressing an opinion: that's an awfully long walk, if you don't mind my saying so | if you ask me, he's in love. 6 expressing surprise or regret: well, if it isn't Frank! | if I could just be left alone. 7 (with implied reservation) and perhaps not: the new leaders have little if any control. • used to admit something as being possible but regarded as relatively insignificant: if there was any weakness, it was naiveté | so what if he did? • despite being (used before an adjective or adverb to introduce a contrast): she was honest, if a little brutal.

Selected and edited from the Oxford/American software

** **

       1434 hours. Within the above two definitions 'if'adds a hypothetical when does not. I would not think to use 'if' for 'when'. 

       I thought to do so. - Amorella

       1437 hours. Indeed, you did. It is a subtle change if you ask me. 

       

       My words, not yours, boy. Mine add depth. You do not normally think deeply enough as far as I am concerned. - Amorella

       1440 hours. I am not you.

       Later. You had your Roomba 980 sweep the master bath, master bedroom, kitchen, living room and sun room, then once completed you went around using the dry Swiffer sweeper on the floors. The dust cloth was dirty but not terribly so. The conclusion shows the 980 does a good job but going over with a Swiffer sweeper dry duster was very quick (less than five minutes) for an even cleaner job. This was an exciting find and you interrupted Carol and Kim (working on online billing) to explain your experiment and finding. The point was to show your new house is easy and quick to clean. They appeared satisfied and you left them to continue with their own work. - Amorella

       1512 hours. I see that I am a character study also. 

       This reinforces who you are boy and what is important to you. You both take the boys out to supper and watch them after until Kim and Paul return from school teacher conferences by eight o'clock. Post. - Amorella