7. Notes - to remain free

27 October 2018

       Noon, local time. The day is dull gray and rainy, typical Fall. You are sitting in your black lounger looking northwest out of the bedroom window. You observe eleven fifteen foot tall pine trees irregularly placed atop a mound of grassy earth about fifteen feet tall with a girth of twenty feet or so. This was constructed to block some of the sound from the wheels and engines traveling Interstate 71 between Columbus and Cleveland proper. Beyond this wall is the natural earth of once pasture and a line of trees beyond, about an eighth of a mile. A drop down from the trees fifteen feet lay or lay so six lanes of thickly poured cement built for power and speed. - Amorella

       1216 hours. It is certainly is noisy at times but we can see plenty of sky, though cloudy today. Time to get ready for Aunt Ruthie's party. 

       Bedtime after a busy afternoon at the party and having sister Gretchen and brother in law Jerry stopped by on their way back to Cleveland after Aunt Ruthie's party. Tomorrow at noon Marilyn, Tony, their children and grandchildren return home to southern California. - Amorella

       2230 hours. Carol is only about half way through Harlan Coben's Home, but she is working on it. Nothing is coming to mind for continuing, so I am to bed in the chair while Carol reads. 

       Tomorrow, dude. - Amorella

28 October 2018

       Sunday night. You and Carol had a very relaxing Sunday mostly watching Amazon Prime and Netflix thrillers and mysteries. Friday the focus was on what observed and subjective reality really is in a human being.

       2113 hours. In the broadest sense this is a problem for me because we all have interpretations of what we observe through our five senses and our intuition as well as what is buried in our upbringing and memories for reference to any particular event in our personal and public lives. Sometimes it comes down to a 'gut' feeling in the moment that opens and/or closes specifics interpretations of a solitary' moment' once lived and 'remembered' as if the moment were once real, even if factually wasn't. How does one's spiritual self, one's heartansoulanmind deal with such circumstances? Let's assume at least hypothetically that it is possible that our spirit is real and actually does survive physical death. . . .

       If it were I, one of the first things I would do, knowing what I know now, is to attempt to separate fact from fiction. I would first want to know what was real in my life that I reacted to and what was fiction in my life that I reacted to. If hypothetically all I had in my ghostly or spiritual database was heartansoulanmind where does the spiritual memory reside, in the heart? or in the mind?

       What if the soul sorts the 'spiritual-memory' from heartanmind, as it were? - Amorella

       2131 hours. I had not thought that. In context it might appear plausible. The soul acts as a unconscious-consciousness so that heartanmind can  privately realize what was real and what was not. The human spirit could then use the soul as a go-between center for better understanding how one's spiritual self could interpret what one's life had actually lived holistically. 

       If so, then one's life would no longer be existential because the soul could influence what had been real in a human life..  - Amorella

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existentialism | noun  - a philosophical theory or approach which emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will. Generally taken to originate with Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, existentialism tends to be atheistic (although there is a strand of Christian existentialism deriving from the work of Kierkegaard), to disparage scientific knowledge, and to deny the existence of objective values, stressing instead the reality and significance of human freedom and experience. The approach was developed chiefly in 20th-century Europe, notably by Martin Heidegger, Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, and Simone de Beauvoir.

Selected and edited from British/American software

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       2145 hours. Doubt would exist in such a scenario if one was still free willed, i.e. would still have my doubts because I could not trust my heartansoulanmind to make a decision for me. I would still wonder if I had enough data to decide what my life had been. 

       That is your dilemma now and you are still alive. - Amorella

       2150 hours. I am ready to call it a night. I demand to remain free as a spirit. This is who I am. I am an existentialist. I have free will without it I will no longer be a human spirit. (2159)

       Post. - Amorella