12. Notes - self-division

       Early afternoon. You are facing north in the L.L.Bean lot at Easton Center after eating at Piada Street Italian near the square. To be true to yourself you are transcendentalist first, that is, you are more spiritually deeper a transcendentalist than you are an existentialist. Do you agree? - Amorella

       1357 hours. I do, but it is bothersome because being an existentialist embraces or appears to embrace a deeper intellectual causality.

       You prefer to show an intellectual side more than one with a mystically orientation?- Amorella

       1504 hours. I have struggled my entire life to develop an intellectual side through American, World and English literature and I have done so through 37 years of teaching College Prep, Honors and AP English literature at the public and private high school teaching level. I have had no choice but to show an intellectual side professionally. At least by declaring myself an existential transcendentalist I am showing that the intellectual side comes first, then, with some embarrassment, I say I am a transcendentalist because in remaining self-honest, I have no choice. Amorella, more than anything, I would like to know where I stand (who I truly am) as a human being before I am dead and have to possibly conjure up some fragmented story with a mix of unknown fiction mixed with a trivial amount of actually fact. Don't people want to have their lives worked out in case there are real Angelic-like spiritual creatures out there in the Beyond and one has to account for the worth and dignity of her or his life? Even if there is no Beyond, it seems for the sake of genuine self-dignity one has an obligation to account for how one has lived without a lifetime of rationalizations. I would think the human spirit would demand this anyway. The spirit innately has a moral compass does it not? People have a personal responsibility to know who they genuinely are as individual human beings. At least I feel they do. I feel I do in any case. One has to define who she or he is sometime while alive. End of life time zone seems good enough for the likes of me. 

       Later afternoon. At least you are keeping in a focus. Your concern is to define yourself at this late date while you are living rather than wait until the Hereafter, if it exists. - Amorella

       1603 hours. This is not so easy because I am two bodies, one physical and one spiritual. They coexist but I cannot imagine one meeting and greeting the other. 

       Mid-evening. Politics is interrupting. Post as is. - Amorella