49. Notes - for you alone / a secret

6 February 2019

       Afternoon. Carol is finishing up her turkey soup to take to Gayle. Tomorrow, you and Carol are taking her to the eye institute downtown for laser surgery on her left eye for cataract removal. Tonight, you watch the boys at jujitsu then take them home and wait for Kim and Paul to return from a school conference. Shortly, you will be leaving for lunch out. - Amorella

       1428 hour. First, I thank you for the wonderfully worded short line, "Most humbly" yesterday. I have never seen a better use of contextual dark and lit humor at the same time. Never in my life have I seen a better line. Never. What irony, what timing. What drama, at least for a crusty old agnostic like me.  

       The line was for you alone, boy. Post. - Amorella

       2234 hours. Carol is watching MSNBC and I am ready for bed sitting in the black recliner. 

       You are thinking on a terrible spiritual time in your life in the 1980's. You remember a moment when you (in essence) wrote, "my heart is in a thousand pieces; it can never be repaired." I was there. You had followed your heart because it was necessary. It was not a matter of faith, it was out of duty. Nothing untoward happened in your prophecy written in secret to one other. You thought at the time that the prophecy you wrote might be a message from G-D given to you, a rogue agnostic,  in secret to a man of the cloth you did not know. The man who was named to receive the prophecy never replied though he had your name. He never said a word to anyone else as far as you know. This personal and secret event in your life (told to two friends at the time) set itself within as the darkest of dark humor and as such it became the greatest of spiritual lessons in your life. You regret nothing leading up to that spiritual event. You do not regret writing and sending the prophecy from your freed heartansoulanmind. You made a mistake, the kind of mistake a fool might make, but you do not feel you were a fool, and because you made a mistake and owned up to it before G-D, you are wiser than you were. You learned a great private existential and spiritual lesson. - Amorella

       2301 hours. I have no other words. You put together (here) what I could not. I do not know if I am a wise person, but I do know what utter humility is. Fortunately, for me I do not have the words to describe it. Your words (yesterday), "Most humbly" brought back what humility really is. 

       Note, You have but a copy of a page or two of the original prophecy. You gave the man the only original document of several hundred pages over a period of several months. Tomorrow, we move on. Post. - Amorella