167. 19 July 2019
Morning. You ran an errand to Home Depot for batteries and re-stringer winder stool for your lawn trimmer. You have been doing them by hand to use up what you had. You feel a bit guilty of feeling good about showing off the reconditioned the metallic green 2005 Honda Accord EX on the way and back. Modesty is what you were taught as a youngster; Presbyterian work ethics and the like, plain old school, as it were. - Amorella
1027 hours. The 'old ways' always seemed practical to me at the time. This is one of my deeper spiritual problems with the blogs. One is supposed to be respectful of others and near silent in terms of raising one's own righteous flag higher than the common. President Trump appears to be the antithesis. It doesn't seem morally right to set one's self above and apart, but Presbyterians in my younger days did that also. Our species has a tendency to short-change itself. I don't know why. I do it myself. Why do we punish ourselves for not being our perfectly best. This concept moves through our entire human society as far as I can see. We downgrade others so that we may appear higher. Swift has good writings on this. "Verses on the Death of Dr. Swift" is one of the best examples in my mind, that and "A Modest Proposal"; well, and Gulliver's Travels of course. (1041)
A relaxing rest of the day. Presently you are at Heritage Park sitting in the Honda in the shade, Carol is doing her walk. - Amorella
1902 hours. It is still quite warm but not so bad this time of day. We had supper at Piada Street Italian off of Wilson Bridge Road in north Worthington. Carol hadn't really been out of the yard all day and didn't eat much lunch from what she said. Here I am and I don't have a clue of what to talk about to Miss Havisham.
Yesterday's Note 166 didn't give me a chance to express myself. You two were mostly talking like I wasn't sitting there listening. - mh
1909 hours. Sitting? If you were sitting, what were Amorella and I doing in your personified scenario?
You were standing around under an old full living tree. I was sitting on a log like Grandma Earth sometimes did in the Merlyn books. I know all your stories intimately as I 'lived through them', so to speak. I was right there. mh
2228 hours. I never thought about that. Do souls keep records like Angels are supposed to do?
You have sacred memories. You keep the records; only those records important to you. mh
2231 hours. There's the rub. These are not conscious memories. At any given time, I don't know what I remember and do not remember about my life.
They are all the memories that have made you who you are. - mh
2235 hours. Yes. This makes complete sense, otherwise, spiritually I wouldn't be myself. Wow. My spirit has to know who he is in order to remain authentic. "Know Thyself," said Socrates (in Greek of course). What a very wise man he was to me, pertaining to this unique sense in particular. I never thought about such a connection after physical death before. In this case it would be as, "You will know yourself. It is a rule."
Look through your lifetime of writings Mr. Orndorff. You are still searching to know who you are. It is quite a task, and you have been consciously at it from time to time, for let's say, sixty-seven years.
2253 hours. People don't have the time to think about such things. People have to survive living first. I am passed the time to care much about surviving longer. I am happy to do so but I have had a good life. No real regrets. I have lived a human life just as everyone else. Living is still interesting. Who knows what tomorrow brings? We survive until we do not.
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