85. Notes - so simple

85. 5 April 2019

       Mid-afternoon. You are facing south at Shale Park. Carol is taking a gravel trail up the wooded hill towards Rt. 23. Your plan it to work on Chapter Three so go to it. - Amorella

       Evening. You did work on "The Brothers" for a time. Carol wanted to stop at Kroger's on the way home and you did. You have not worked on "The Brothers" since. - Amorella

       2244 hours. My mind appears to 'stumble into a stupor' at times. Passion ebbs. Spirit draws down into the well of souls, so to speak.

       What is such a phrase as "spirit draws down into a well of souls"? You are reflecting on one the 'Indiana Jones' films. Are you implying a well of souls sucks the spirit down as in a soda straw? In the general sense, your soul (myself) holds your heartanmind (yourself). With intent, the soul draws the heartanmind close for protection from Nothingness, the lack of human dignity and freedom. Speaking frankly, the stupor you speak of here is from your heart, the well of souls is your mind and its lack of will to write. That's the context of how your soul sees this moment. mh

       2258 hours. You sound reasonable like Amorella, Miss Havisham. How can you both (within) sound so reasonable, when I basically am not so reasonable (within myself). I feel mentally depressed at times and this is one of them. 

       Indeed boy, you were not so reasonable on Wednesday evening when you reported after the dinner with Aunt Ruthie, Cathy, Tod, Carol and yourself: 

       ** **

       2256 hours. The two hours were heartfelt to be sure. We were all thankful we are all here sharing the same table. We had a wonderful family time together. It was a joyous and strangely intimate time right Uptown in front of G-D and everybody else. 

       From Note 83.

       ** **

"[The dinner] was a joyous and strangely intimate time." Where is the reasonability in that? - Amorella

       2317 hours. This passage was followed by Miss Havisham who suggesting family spirits passed by our table that evening. Alas, that is not so reasonable either. Hints of momentary madness one might say. 

       One might, but you don't. To you, soul or not, this is how you felt even if you couldn't bring yourself to admit it. - Amorella

       2322 hours. This sounds as if I cannot accept my own human reality.

       You cannot always accept yourself for what you are. - Amorella

       2325 hours. In this sense, presently, my soul is attempting to protect me from misplacements in my heartanmind, but she cannot protect me from my own self-dishonesty. I have to admit I am a fraud. 

       You do, and when you do, at that moment, you will be free to restore your self-dignity, your humanity. - Amorella

       2330 hours. You make this seem so simple. 

       Post. - Amorella