130. 24 May 2019
Late evening. Busy day concluding with a first ride at dusk in Carol's new Avalon Limited Hybrid. Earlier you had lunch with Cathy after she and Carol drove to the garden store and bought flowers for the front of the house. Carol planted them this afternoon, then after mowing and trimming most of the yard you took a McD break, splitting an Egg McMuffin with two diet drinks and two cookies each. Earlier you got into about 150 pages of The Mueller Report and read about a third of the larger Avalon manual. - Amorella
2244 hours. I did do the trimming, at least most of it. Carol has a bit more of the back to mow and I have to trim most of the sides and back and around two more trees. We had a good day. We are both tired. -- I feel a bit awkward as nothing spiritual happened or was thought about today. At least not that I remember. I was too busy I guess. Everybody's busy on daily tasks at hand.
You are relaxing now, and you are not spiritually angry like you were two nights ago. mh
2305 hours. Those are rare moments -- that sort of anger.
You just misspelled 'anger' as 'angel' and quickly changed it. mh
2307 hours. Slip of the fingers, so to speak. Though, there have been 'rare moments' with what I thought were angels once in a while. Never more than one at a time. I can't help but flash to one of my favorite pre-romantic English poets, William Blake and his lines: "Both read the Bible day and night, but thou read black where I read white."
2315 hours. The lines (two of my favorites by Blake) originate in this poem of his:
** **
“THE VISION OF CHRIST
that thou dost see
Is my vision’s greatest enemy.
Thine has a great hook nose like thine;
Mine has a snub nose like to mine.
Thine is the Friend of all Mankind;
“Mine speaks in parables to the blind.
Thine loves the same world that mine hates;
Thy heaven doors are my hell gates.
Socrates taught what Meletus
Loath’d as a nation’s bitterest curse,
“And Caiaphas was in his own mind
A benefactor to mankind.
Both read the Bible day and night,
But thou read’st black where I read white.”
** **
Personally, I have always interpreted Blake's lines to mean that while many read the black text [words] on the page, Blake reads the white -- between the lines. That's not the way many would interpret the lines, particularly in context, but I go overboard and make the jump and assume my interpretation is as good as anyone else's at least from my perspective. Arrogance on my part. I don't like people telling me what I should think when I can think what I want for myself. (2325)
Well, my young friend, I see your anger is returning. - Amorella
2326 hours. I agree. Strange. I did not anticipate this to happen. I was feeling tired but rather chipper a few minutes ago. I don't know what lead up to this quick change of mood or thought. What do you think on this quick subject, Miss Havisham?
I don't think you ever wanted to be born, I think that's where your anger originated. You almost died the first two weeks after your premature birth. It is almost like that wherever you were or thought you were you didn't want to leave and come here, to this universe, to this planet. mh
2339 hours. I think you have more imagination than I do, Miss Havisham. It makes no difference anyway, even if it were anywhere near the truth. I'm here, and I've been here going on 77 years. This 'living' is an interesting place, an interesting reality. I enjoy living. I think reality is just not what I expected it to be, but I do not know what I expected. What foolish thinking. I don't really know where any of this comes from.
It comes from not who you might think you are, boy; it comes from who you are. - Amorella
2346 hours. Maybe I'm really an insect, and thus I am really, really out of place as a human being? I'm being ridiculous, Amorella. That is my point. Time to go to bed.
Post. - Amorella
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